


...wait that's possible?

by ireallydowritelikeimrunningoutoftime



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Hogwarts House Sorting, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hogwarts House Sorting, Hogwarts House Sorting Ceremony, Hogwarts Houses, Humor, One Shot, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Short One Shot, The Sorting Hat, What Have I Done, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ireallydowritelikeimrunningoutoftime/pseuds/ireallydowritelikeimrunningoutoftime
Summary: Harry hates how much being The-Boy-Who-Lived makes him stand out. Only the impossible happens again when he gets to Hogwarts, Harry is the only child sorted into Gryffindor/Slytherin/Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38
Collections: Harry Potter Prompts





	...wait that's possible?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seizansha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seizansha/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [seizansha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seizansha/pseuds/seizansha) in the [HPprompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HPprompts) collection. 



> This probably wasn't what you had in mind, but I couldn't help myself, sorry!
> 
> Disclaimer: The very beginning is a section taken directly from Chapter 17 of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, which I in no way own

As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.

"Potter, did she say?"

" _The_ Harry Potter?"

The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat.

He waited, expecting some sort of wise proverb from the hat before it shouted his house to the Great Hall. What he didn't expect was a disbelieving snort.

"Well, I never!" the hat mused. "You _are_ special, aren't you?"

"So I've been told." Harry shifted uncomfortably in the seat, glad the hat was blocking his vision. Everyone was probably staring at him, wondering why he was taking so long.

"Yes," the hat continued thoughtfully, "very special indeed. Of course, there's plenty of courage. Very noble, willing to make sacrifices, you've got all the traits of a Gryffindor."

"Why not put me there, then?" Harry asked, silently pleading with the hat. _Not Slytherin, not Slytherin, not Slytherin._ The hat payed no attention.

"A great mind," it was saying. "You certainly have the brains for Ravenclaw, yet something isn't quite right..."

"Ravenclaw would be all right..." he offered weakly, clutching the sides of the chair. At this point, he'd be happy with Hufflepuff, so as long as the hat could reach a conclusion.

"Loyal, rather dedicated. You would find friends in Hufflepuff, yet I fear it may not be the best choice for you."

"I'll take it!" Harry shouted, all thoughts of _not Slytherin_ forgotten. "Please, just give me a house, er, Mister Hat!"

"And of course, Slytherin!" Harry shuddered, wondering if he truly was best suited for the house of dark wizards, the house that held his greatest enemy. "You have a thirst to prove yourself, plenty of ambition... no doubt you are destined for greatness. Still, your instincts rebel against being placed in the house... yes, there is only one option for you, Mr. Potter. One that I have always speculated with children, but never given..."

Harry felt a wave of sickening dread wash over him. This was it, then. He wasn't fit for Hogwarts, couldn't be sorted into any of the houses, and would be sent home, back to the Dursleys, the magic gone just as quickly as it had been granted. He braced himself for the inevitable humiliation as the hat opened its mouth, at last ready to make its announcement...

"Better be GRYFFERINCLAWPUFF!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hermione: W-Wait... that's not possible!  
> Dumbledore: ...  
> McGonagall: That's it, that's the last straw, I'm resigning!


End file.
